Sunday, June 27, 2010

NIAS #3 Day 12. last day in nias. :(


-        Breakfast (Chairs Cooked)
-        Own Time
-        Lunch
-        Own Time
-        Dinner
-        Farewell Party

It’s the last day already. Amazingly it’s been such  a fast eleven days, too fast, and now that I’m  leaving it feels like this whole trip is so super short. Eleven days compared to the 6 days during recce… Omg.

Spent a lot more time with the children today. Wrote letters with J and spent the whole time after lunch playing with the kids andden hatam bola-ing :P after that we went to watch the guys play football for a bit. Dinner was wonderful with watermelon and pineapples (:

After dinner, we had preparations for the farewell party and we took team nerd specs photos! :D hohoho. Videocammed a bit  until the party started.

We sang devotion songs, read the bible (linda read in bahasa indon while I read in English), then had some songs from the children and a short skit by them about their daily lives without us. We then went up to dance that thing you do and sang when you say nothing at all and I’m yours & qing fei de yi. Then was some farewell speeches then our usual farewell handshakes and hugs and best wishes. Omg.

You know, this time, I didn’t cry again. It’s the same reason, the fact that I’m leaving hasn’t settled done in my mind yet. But seeing desi, mei, Charles, and even merfon crying really made me heartbroken. Especially merfon who cried more this time as compared to last year. Sigh. All changtai’s fault. But I’ve got to give him credit for bringing so much joy to the kids even though they got too emotionally attached to him. Double edged sword, really. Now I just hope that he’ll be back to continue spreading his love.

Thinking back of the past eleven days, I always felt that even though we were all so busy and tired there was still so much more that could have been done. But yet at the same time, I can’t convince myself that we could do more without sacrificing something else. Like this time though we did a lot more, I felt that as a result we spent less time with the children. Sigh.

I’m really glad to be here again, because every time I’m here all my expectations are met and everything never fails to disappoint me. Just that every time I come with different people and hence there’s something different every trip. And it’s really heartbreaking to see the children I’ve been spending so much time with in the past abandoning me for someone else. It’s just so heartwrenching. Like this time CT just took erni and merfon away from me. As much as I joke about it, I’m actually pretty  seriously heartbroken. Sigh.

I’ve accepted the fact that I cant have the best of both worlds. As much as I want to stay here I want to go back home as well. If only I could spend more time here with the children, or even bring all of them home with me. And upon knowing that some other older kids will be gone real soon, it just makes everything even more heartbreaking. Like kurniaman, seruwan, and yusoff, perhaps there’ll no longer be any chance for us to ever meet again. The reality of life.

Tomorrow’s going to be bad. So I guess I’m going to sleep early tonight to prep myself a bit. And remove all those emo thoughts in my head, all those unneeded jealousy and disappointments.

And then it’ll be the third separation for me. And this time, I can’t tell when I’ll say hello again.

Goodbye Nias, I hope I can come back soon.


+ guaishou's! :D

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