whatever happened to dreams.

i was suddenly thinking about the numerous dreams i had while showering just now. and it simply shows how fickle i've always been, ever since i was born.

my dreams.

6 to 9 - doctor (from watching those hk medical dramas)

10 to 12 - lawyer (from watching those hk crime/justice dramas)

13 to 15 - scientist/researcher (being in RV sorta made me wanna be a scientist... thanks to all those research shit that rv teachers always make us do)

16 - doctor (inspired by jap medical dramas)

17 - nothing much (too shag from canoeing)

18 - doctor (after much careful thought into what i really want to do for the rest of my life.)

19 - aerospace engineer (my 2nd choice after being rejected from med school HAHA)

20 - air stewardess for 5 years then business woman (so that i can go fly around the world)

21 - marketer (inspired by another jap drama)

22 - student

and so this is how my life evolved over the years. i wish i could get paid for studying something i really love. like music, drama, or some artsy fartsy stuff.

and i'm really very influenced by dramas. OMG.

+ guaishou's! :D

six years.

i realised not long ago, that it's been almost 6 years.

woah.

amazing how much time has past ever since the day i decided that i actually like you. and in the past 6 years, you never knew, despite the fact that we still kept in contact. well, i made sure of it.

and from the 3rd year onwards, i kept saying this same line to myself repeatedly. i think it worked, but if i still think you'll always be that special person occupying 0.01% of my heart, have i really let go?

but anyway, i'm really, really happy the way things are currently. (: i managed to escape from the occasional bouts of emo-ness since two years ago, and i allowed to let others enter my weak little heart.

but you'll always be special. always.

haha i'm such a greedy person.

but anyway yesterday after lunch on our way back to office i was saying how i have quite a few good guy friends which resulted from both of us knowing clearly nothing will happen between us. at least that's what i thought. it's much easier to be close to guys you know you won't be together with. you know, that "stress-less" feeling. haha. until he asked me, so what if one of your close guy friends wants to take the relationship a level higher. would i mind having a close friend as a boyfriend?

then i stumbled for a little while. i never thought of that what-if. then i started to think about my friends. and actually, i don't think i would mind. because the very fact that i'm close to them in the first place means that we get along well. then again getting along well isn't a good enough reason to get together. so in the end i have no answers to that question.

back to square one. hahaha.

just being random. oh well (:

and oh, pamela's list of christian pick up lines were super funny! :D i especially loved this one:

"I think God was showing off when he made you."

:P :P :P

+ guaishou's! :D

the mushy mushy les

found this very interesting thing LeS wrote on the organiser she gave me for last year. HAHA.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
My love for you,
Is ever so true.
Every morning you wake,
Eggs and toast i'll make.
Warm & fuzzy you'll feel,
Oranges i'll peel,
Just to make orange juice for you.
I'll go a thousand miles,
Just to make you smile.
Oh LeS,
We'll be so happy,
In our little love nest.

- 26 OCT '08. LeS FoReVeRxZzx~

HAHAHAH super funny can. my dearest les (aka tanyingxia!) rawkx! :DD i'm super amusedddddd. i love you very much too LeS! :D

me. les. geokx (:

the ten of us minus susannnn. (: happy birthday jt! :D

-+-

and hmm today didn't turn out that bad after all (: thank God! :D

2nd interview with E was alright. i'm a little confused at what happened (apparently the mktg side - my first interviewer - strongly recommended me to him out of his 4 available choices. BUT why didn't they give me the position in the mktg dpt then?) but i guess it doesn't really matter anymore now since i've secured the job (albeit the interviewer told me unofficially) for IA. not in mktg but in sales. not my top choice but i guess, just give and take heh. no worries for now. unless they "chu stunt".

structures quiz was surprisingly doable too, most of which merely required us to plug in some values into some equation. i guess mugging for it helped, unlike flight mech which didn't. hurrrr. but at least i didnt have to retake the quiz. thank God. i was so afraid before that!

eh so today went well. got so irritated ytd for nothing. rahhhhhhhs i'm a boring person. HOHO.

oh and i bought my white heels for my sis's wedding! :D HAPPY!

+ guaishou's! :D

HALFWAY.

as ridiculous as it may sound, i really finished half of the exams today. having only 4 papers, i've completed 2 in the 2nd day of exams, and now i'm currently in the midst of my 12 day break to the next paper. omg omg omg.

WHY TWELVE DAYS YO!

and jap was ermms. okay. a little difficult, but as of now i don't really remember any mistakes. and since i su-ed it already, i decided to write new types of sentence forms in my essay, which i hope ain't much of a problem. i hope it sounds pro :P haha.

and i'm currently suffering from a bloated stomach. i'm comtemplating whether i should get a syringe, pierce it through my stomach, and let all the air (or possibly methane, CO2 etc.) escape as if i were deflating a balloon. omg i must be nuts.

and it doesnt help when i'm seeing my hair fall. i feel like i'm about to become bald soon. the amount of hair collected these few days is almost enough for me to make a wig o.O goshhhh.

so basically, i've played abt 2 hours of ZUBO on my ds today, watched an ep of super nice Worlds Within, and did some decent catching up with friends online :P i need a life yo! :X

and les kept using -yo in her jap sentences so i was asking her why she kept using it. andden she said, isn't it supposed to emphasize something? so now i'll just "YO" when i need to emphasize sth yo. hmms. but for some time, we were amused (: its one of those cranky days that things which aren't exactly funny become stupidly humourous to you. :P but its good to be cranky once in a while! :D

and yeah, read cna today and apparently some guy committed suicide by jumping into the white tigers' moat. how gross. now the beautiful white tigers look like some grossly dangerous animal. and it ain't exactly a glamourous way to die right? like helloo, being literally scratched to death is SUPER painful. and you probably won't look pretty too. HAHA.

and ahh. stock indexes are dropping again after US decided not to buy those toxic mortgage assets. whatever they are. here goes asia's economy. tumbling down~ (as you can see, i think i'm in the wrong course. i seem to be more interested in the financial crisis really.)

okay. huiwen promises to start on circuits tomorrow. she has much to catch up on :X

+ guaishou's! :D

i want an ultraportable!

using my dad's acer aspire one now! cos i'm supposed to be mugging and now i'm using this with all my aerospace dynamics notes ard me :P

still trying to get use to typing! can't wait for my sis to get me this or else an Eee pc! XD i hope it'll come on my birthday hahaa. but i'm greedy. hohoho. and this really rocks. its not slow, and it actually works really well and the screen isn't as small as i expected it to be! whee. if i've got one i'll definitely bring it ard in sch :P haha.

tmr's superband finals! mayday will be here :D too bad i didn't get any tics for the finals, but seriously, i'm quite busy with stuffs so i shall forsake my maydayyyy for once :( i miss guaishou!

and contrary to what my tech comm groupmates said to me, i can actually type pretty fast using this! MY FINGERS AREN'T FAT okay. muahaha. irritating.

and i'm so tempted to get one still :( :( :( please come to me soon!

back to mugging for aerospace dynamics quiz next tue :( next tue will be a terribly fun day :D so i'm so looking forward to it actually haha.

+ guaishou's! :D

3 on 3!

another thing off my list. i'm so glad i settled some stuffs already (: no more 3-on-3 things to do for now, and tech comm's report first draft is out already, which means left the editing which is so much easier! phew. i did until 5am last night okay. only to realise today that the first draft is in fact not due this week, BUT next week. boohoo.

but well at least the prof was impressed :D and yea, die die must get A has achieved their aim for the first assignment - PROPOSAL! you can't believe how elated we were when we first got our hands on our marked proposal and saw a freaking A-!!! that's like the most wonderful gift of the day considering we heard most of our friends getting Bs. hohohoho.

and yeah, i love my tech comm group (: they're a bunch of wacky people like me who work well together! and we produce results! :D fast, effecient, effective. hoho. though i have to admit i didn't do much for the first assignment :X guilty~

oh and they're bad friends cos they tempted me with good food and i ended up having two lunches. o.O FAT.

sorry i'm a little high today haha. but nehhh. life's good! nothing much for me to be fussy about, except for the rate i'm mugging.

i need to study how to study till i can study all the time. back to mugging! (though in actual fact i haven't even started.)

+ guaishou's! :D

4days.

its an emo night.

i'm not emo, just that the night feels emo. hohoho. and i simply love contradicting myself in weird ways.

and yeah, aurorae (the ntusb concert) is finally over. have to say i've brought about much trouble to heng this time, because of me being sick for like 2 whole weeks. probably my last concert with ntusb because i can't cope anymore! need to catch up with my studies and the lost time for canoeing. i'm back to snail speed again. sigh. and yeah, aurorae was not bad. i managed to play my parts relatively well so i guess i have no regrets :) will miss the band peeps!

and thank you dee and min for the rose and yummy cookie, caijie for the chocolates and ughhh everyone for the wishes! :D

which reminds me i spend 80% of the time trying to break the inertia for canoeing. when can i ever start training consistently and well?

and yeah, 15th jcrc elections again. though it doesnt affect me directly, but i'm still feeling quite shit about this round of elections. gah. all the politics and the complications and the irritating problems i'm rolled into as a result! i'm so glad i'm not running sports sec or something. hurhur.

huiwen needs more time! more freedom!

+ guaishou's! :D

unpredictable.

life is unpredictable. but it is also this unpredictability that makes life precious :)

went down to see the races this morning for a short while! heh fiona and yanhan got 4th for their 10k race! :D :D heh and my hc juniors did quite well too :) so did ntu peeps! yeaaa too bad i can't race though by right i can still go race heats. but i just felt that it wasn't right to race at this period of time. hmmm. there's always a next year anyway. i'm still pretty young :)

i wanna see the 200m races! got uncle k4 :P hahaha. i'm still very amused. a pity i didn't get to see them in action myself :( hahaha. shall ask yanhan and marcus abt it lol.

next week's programme is pretty packed! advancing to the last two weeks of holidays. :( sighhhhh. i want to do so much more things! :(

ok, need to wake up early tmr :X shall go do other stuffs fast fast first :D

+ guaishou's! :D

>:D

i'm pretty bored. and i love filling up stupid questionnaires :P so i koped the one in debo's blog and happily filled it with my own stuff :D thank you you debo!

1. At what age do you wish to get married?

i used to think i would want to get married at 28. but now to think of it, i think i won't get married. hahahaha. :P

2. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 4 blog buddies you’d take and why?

wth are blog buddies?! who invented this term... but anyway, i shall take debo (who blogs really often), kityeng (because she blogs about jap stuff which i like too :P), ying2 and les. can i bring ashin along? i loveee to read his posts :P

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?

japan. i want to see the beautiful things that appear in tv shows myself (: but of course, any part of europe or america will already make me very, very happy.

4. If you can have 1 dream come true, what would it be?

i don't know. maybe have loads of money that i can spend. haha. then i can go all over the world without worries.

5. Do you believe you can survive without money?

i think so. i'm quite a hardy person. haha. call me a weed, man.

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?

myself. as in, the sense of identity. and what makes people have their sense of identity? memories.

7. If you win $1 Million, what would you do?

1 million only?! rah. can't even buy a bungalow. maybe i'll just buy presents for all the people i care about. haha.

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

what a random question. but err, for now, no.  

9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.

cute, adorable, nice. (cos no one tagged me so i assumed that person to be myself :P)

10. How would your dream boy/girl be?

wahaha. talllll. plays sports and/or music instruments well. loves jap stuff like me. would be someone who is really similar to me i guess. (rare i know, that's why i think that i wont get married hahahaa)

11. What kind of person do you hate the most?

tiongs. to be mean. but nehhhh its the tiong-like character actually. i have no problem with some tiongs actually (:

12. If you are given the chance to go back to the past and make a difference, will you?

nopes. if we had a chance to go back, that everything that happens or will happen will not be treasured as much. isn't it?

13. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. What does it mean to you?

kinship. friendship. 

14. Any wisdom to share with your readers?

i am the wisdom. nahhhh kidding :P

15. If there’s ever a war(or things that are similar) happening in your place, are you going to move to a safer place, or fight?

depends. on what we're fighting for.

16. If you have the chance, which part of your character you would like to change?

my stubbornness. but it might not be a bad thing to have after all.

17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?

les. (: 

18. What’s your weakest point?

being too nice at times. i find it hard to say no at times. 

19. Think of the person who tagged you to do this quiz. What song do you relate him/her to?

if its debo, i'll relate to someday my prince will come. obvious isn't it? haha.

20. What is the one thing you regret most?

nothing much actually. i feel sad about stuff that happened but i don't regret. at least for now.

-+-

hoho. i'm done. and i'm tired! meeting up my friend for ironman tomorrow!

+ guaishou's! :D

:X

lalalala~ no work today (: heh damn shuang. but the thought of having no $$$ makes me sadddd. gah.

later got interview for USP. i'm still thinking about it. oh well, shall decide only after i get accepted. somehow my mind's in NTU already, sort of gave myself sufficient mental preparation. and NTU gave me my desired course - aerospace engine - already! :D :D :D

oh well, shall see how things go.

i'm pretty nervous for my interview! gah.

shall go, tata!

okay this is the third time i'm writing this and i'm getting irritated.

i'm feeling pretty emo today, think i've gotten the emo disease from mean. it's contagious you know, being emo. but i'm not even sure what i am emo-ing about, cos my mind's in a constant state of blank and there isnt much for me to be emo about.

perhaps there is.

despite how much i say and believe that i dont mind what other people say of me, i realised that perhaps my subconcious and my heart may be really affected. it's like someone stabs you at the back, and when you think it isnt painful, it might just be painful in another way because you know you got a wound right behind.

i know prejudice is a child of ignorance. them being ignorant has caused them to develop prejudice towards me. i know i'm not at fault, my superior confirms it with me and stands up for me too, but i just cant help feeling wrong sometimes. like as if just because a lot of people says so the wrong can become right and vice versa. but i like to say that i dont care, because in my heart i already know who's right and wrong.

well, that's life for you. at least the people in my department loves me and i love them too (:

havent had a proper update in ages.

monday had our very last jap lesson. we're on to our next stage - and i'm really glad i made some progress since the very first day i stepped into the classroom. and i'm glad i have mean with me though she's [half/full] sleeping most of the time. heh.

tuesday had our hiphop lessons at o school again! ryan killed my baby by making us do crunches :P haha that is IF i even have one. lol. cos i was complaining that my abs still hurt from doing the pathetic 35 leg lifts with yihang on sat to mean, then she told me "just tell ryan you're pregnant". i was -____________-lll straight away. but two of us burst into laughter though. and i really couldnt do the crunches that day! normally i'll be able to complete it without stopping... eeks.

we learnt a new routine! not our "routine" routine but its sorta like a pair dance. but you know, in hiphop there's no friendly pair dancing but as a "battle" kinda feel. but its cool! and im glad i managed to master it the very last time we did it! haha. i was "battling" with chong! mean keeps thinking i'll break her arm or sth. PLEASE LAAA. haha.

our "routine" routine is forming shape too! but we only learnt 3 sets of 8. hahaha. gosh.

yesterday went to PS and met grace kim chieh and pam! poor ying2 couldnt come or else it'll be complete! sighhhh. thanks to kim that she got grounded! X( haha. anyway we spent like half an hour looking at cheap books at the ground floor. i bought two books in the end - pretty rubbish, one's a music trivia book and the other is "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"!! haha. lame stuff. we even played that with kim as the contestant and me as the host during dinner. and kim phoned ying2! haha.

we ate dinner at the movie thingy at cineplex -_- chieh says the fish and chip's nice but i concluded it was a bit lower than average. i think hc's one better. hahha. then we walked back to ps and walked around. i didnt see any gloomy bears at action city anymore! :( boohoo. maybe i should drop by comics connection someday again.

need to save money!

okay that was random. when pam finally joined us, we went to watch Breach! not bridge but BREACH. oh gosh, i miss playing bridge with them! :X anyway it's a cool show, pretty low budget, but its based on a true story. about some high ranking guy who endangered U.S's security by selling info to the russians and caused the death of some 50 U.S. officers and made the country lose billions. interesting stuff. but i still prefer movies with climax though. this was pretty calm throughout.

and i dont really get it why it's NC16. it would have fitted quite well in PG.

listening to mayday songs on the comp now. hao bu hao suddenly felt very nice, and even jie wen zhong shen ming sounded cute too. oh gosh those are really old songs. haha. but hao bu hao's still nice la. tian shi's style but doesnt sound like tian shi at all! dunno why got people say they sound alike. hmm.

tonight might be going kbox with mean! hahaha. actually more like confirm going. if there's two of us only we'll still go :D haha. stupid chong might need to do OT! she's super busy can. but she's earning a lot. got admin job and tuition! but so sad not much free time. eeks. cindy might go driving so she'll prob pangseh too. gahhh.

okok, back to nana! i'm still at work. heh. tata~

love, GRAY.
[dont you think mean and gray sounds like names of rockstars?]

to my dearest

i've been thinking of you all day.

i've been dreaming of you all night.

everytime you flash across my mind, my heart beats faster and faster, until it jumps out of my chest.

everytime you appear in front of me, i shiver and fall into an endless dilemma.

should i go to you, or should i retreat and get out of your sight?

nono, i've decided.

dearest BEN & JERRY'S ICE CREAM, i'm COMING~~~~~~!!!

-+-

today's ben&jerry's FREE CONE DAY! omg i've dreamt all about it last night! cant wait cant waiT! :D :D :D :D :D

gah.

i'm HOT and TIRED. the weather is freaking terrible, making me feel so sweaty and disgusting :X

oh well. just came back from hcanoe dinner! there was only 7 of us - ky chris wenyi lala leilei haoxia and i. damn sad, but still v nice (: we ate hooked at rail mall! my first time there actually though i've seen it since i was v v v young. -__-lll

anyway, been training with the juniors! super duper tiring. my arms are going to break any minute. yesterday when i took an afternoon nap i almost couldnt get out of bed :X gahhh, needa train up more. but i can feel that my water fitness's coming back and my muscle's growing! :D thats a gooood thing. hopefully i'll be more ready by nwkc :X but i'm so slow now! :( if i go race in the event i took last year i'll most likely not even end up in the finals :( ahhh well. shall preserve my nice nice image as a fast paddler for now [though i'm obviously not already]. i havent trained so hard in 9 months!

at least paddling isnt dreadful to me already (: although i admit sometimes i STILL dread trgs, it's been much better compared to last year. perhaps i'm ready to take up the sport on a competitive scale again :) shall think twice for ntu canoeing (:

THE WEATHER'S SOOO HOT. gahhhhh. makes me freaking irritated.

anyway, i'm watching NANA now! it's damnnn nice besides the occasional bed scenes. but seriously how porno can bed scenes in anime get?! haha. and they normally last only a few seconds. haha. but that nana is seriously too despo~ hahah no wonder fellowdespo aka min intro-ed it to me! [i repeat: i'm not despo! XP] haha.

okay super nuah now. but my nana havent load finish :( oh well. tomorrow got work! i hope they dont make me do stamping cos my arms are probably going to die and collapse tomorrow! oh well.

and all the guys are gone! booohooo. less people to talk online to now. and now on my list most people who are online are girls :P ahahah. feels so weird actually. nevermind, hopefully army makes them better people [and more gentlemanly!] heh.

okok shall go, cyahhh.

man-eating bears.

___

YESSSSS! MAN EATING BEARS! XD this is my ultimate favourite toy of all time besides the supaaa cute tamagotchis! :D :D :D and i've got a newfound love for it TODAY! (: i still have my cute little black gloomy bear on my table :D

and last time no one supported me when i wanted to buy it at action city! the canoeists wanted to stop me! RAHHHH. cos this thing costs 6 bucks :P but i couldnt stand it i thought it was freaking cute :D

and after reading an article today i love my gloomy bear even more now! why why why?! cos someone loves it too as much as i do [and probably even more]!

yeaps - dont blink, my darling drew this! XD and look at the little thing sitting on the red amplifier! none other than the uber cute GLOOMY BEAR! and if you're still wondering who my darling is [and trying to decipher the oh-so-messy signature], its GUAISHOUUU.

and rina, dont be jealous just because both of us got very very strong telepathy :D HAHA. i win! -slaps myself for being childish-

but well, I'M STILL HAPPY. other than ying2 no one else thinks its cute! okay perhaps i should just try to hide my sadistic nature....

ANYWAY, i took leave today to watch rv band's syf! they got a gold. quite glad for them already, considering only 2 bands out of 100 got gold with honours so far. st pats and amkss. amkss was rather unexpected. hurhur. yuhuaaaaaa~ sigh. they got gold too! :( went home and listened to our recording during our SYF! it was terribly nice i have to admit! almost perfect :D definitely the best rv ever did! hahaha. too bad they didnt announce the top band that year. WE HAD A GOOD CHANCE seriously. hurhur.

and mayday's official website was damn funny on april's fools! hahahah the music is FREAKING CUTE! hahah. go take a look!

click HERE to see the real thing!

okay! enough of updates! hahah time to watch teevee~ oh still got ten minutes! meanwhile i shall talk about all the shows im catching on youtube and crunchyroll now! :D

1. Bleach - as usual, once a week, up till 121. finished all 121 eps! including this week's one :(
2. Deathnote [anime] - up to 16 i think. total 24 but too lazy to finish it up quickly :P
3. Nana [anime] - HAVENT STARTED. 50 eps. but shall start really really soon! jiamin intro-ed me to this anime. about this jrocker called nana. more on the music side. sounds really interesting!
4. summer x summer aka re qing zhong xia - typical taiwan drama like hana kimi, a bit -___-lll sometimes but i'm watching it for the sake of eye candies! xiao gui, xiao tian, and yuanchang! omg. but the female lead really suck.
5. my lucky star aka fang yang de xing xing - les's going to start watching too :D nice plot, less bimbotic than the previous drama, female lead's pretty, but male lead.... erhem. my sis's favourite so i shall not comment anymore :D female lead from korea called yoo ha na, male lead's jimmy lin! he's 33 and he looks like 21. damn sick.
6. yu le bai fen bai - for obvious reasons! haha. shall not say more.
7. kang xi lai le - for obvious reasons too! heh.

no more. just finished hyd2 today :( nice ending! haha.

okay i'm a freaking youtube/crunchyroll addict. i watch around 5 hours a day! [inclusive of working hours]. now i wish that i wouldnt have anything to do at work everyday so i can watch youtube! hahaha. yesterday i caught ard 3plus hours of it laa! :P you can imagine how free i was.

and my hp bill's CRAZY. GPRS isnt cheap at all [unlike what many told me :(] oh well. i shall not state how much is it but im glad my dad didnt scold me YET. i think he forgot to. haha. [i'm hiding the bill now] so no more mobile blogging! RAHHH.

okok shall go! itte kimasu! ;D

:D

i'm in a blogging mood these few days! seems like there's something to blog everyday! :D

anyway went to see junior's syf rehearsal yesterday! met up with the that-time-sec-ones-but-now-sec-fours juniors, got our super late percussion tee which was made when i was in j1, paid for them, and talked to the juniors! they're still very cute and funny XD but somehow they'll always be the cute little sec ones in my heart :D haha. but it's quite sad cos they're the last batch i know from band already! :( sighhhhh.

anyway, they made me feel important! and missed! (: they were telling me about how shuyi still doesnt wipe her specs even though it gets smokey whenever she gets off an aircon bus, and apparently it was due to me telling her that during one particular performance when we had to shift instrus immediately we got off the bus :P hahahaha i was very amused! but i still dont wipe my specs though. hahah! and geraldine says the "白斩鸡" i wrote at the metallic side of the whiteboard is still there too! i can still remember why its there too :P for a good reason that some of my close friends would know! hahah! shhhhhh.

but it's really these little things that made me feel so special. like whenever shuyi doesnt wipe her specs they'll think of me! or else when they're teaching juniors strokes using the whiteboard and takes a glimpse of the three chinese words there. really unexpected cos i didnt really make much impact in their lives during the short one year with them. i was really touched seriously (:

i still hope that they'll get really good results for SYF! oh man i cant believe syf's 4 years ago already :X time flies! i remembered how jittery i was that day :P shall go take leave and watch them in action! :D

okay let's talk about other things! there's a cool video here!

damn cool laa! the person doesnt know how to play the piano nor the drums can! wth.

oh, and lastly, ANYONE WANTS TO GO CABLE SKI-ING or WAKEBOARDING?! one full day package all for 80bucks! damn cheap laa! i got details so if you wanna go tell me k! i want to go also :D

okok shall go cyahhh~~~

热情仲夏

小宇

你随意一句话 我是上还是下
上去是天堂 下去会满脚泥巴
大家看着我 等待我的回答
卡在半空中 这悬疑是怎样

从来不会变化 受不了的自大
偶尔却像吃错药 对我放电太可怕
我管你那么多 却又感觉什么
谁塞一颗糖 在我嘴里快融化

我会错意了吗 在热情的仲夏
喔 你别告诉我 是个冷笑话
我就是停不住 这莫名的牵挂
只要你在我身边 快乐心都装不下

快想一个方法 在热情的仲夏
喔 让我面对你 不再觉得尴尬
我才不要单恋你 太不像我自己
但终究到最后 这烦恼还是放不下

从来不会变化 受不了的自大
偶尔却像吃错药 对我放电太可怕
我管你那么多 却又感觉什么
谁塞一颗糖 在我嘴里快融化

我会错意了吗 在热情的仲夏
喔 你别告诉我 是个冷笑话
我就是停不住 这莫名的牵挂
只要你在我身边 快乐心都装不下

快想一个方法 在热情的仲夏
喔 让我面对你 不再觉得尴尬
我才不要单恋你 太不像我自己
但终究到最后 这烦恼还是放不下

-+-

热情仲夏's ost is super nice! haha :D maybe it's cos of the drama too :P but anyway i'm deeply in love with this song (: nice lyrics, nice tune! and tomorrow's monday means there's a new episode to watch again! XD

there's lots of nice music now! 热情仲夏ost, good charlotte, fall out boy, fir's ahqing, stanley... suddenly i feel that the space in my mp3 player is soooo small! XI oh well. haha i shall resist temptations! quote glori: hummmmmmmmms.

okok super tired and thighs aching from yesterday's lunges! darnnnn. haoxia's having a new chunk of interesting stuff again :P

okay! shall go. cyahhh.

stoning.

nice song with a nice mv! (: from my current favourite drama starring joe cheng [re qing zhong xia!] butttt i dont like the female lead -___- she's pretty irritating.

谁愿意和我 一起写一个传说
你还梦不梦 疯不疯
还有没有当初 浪漫温柔
谁愿意和我 一起写一个传说
就算谁能消灭了我
却夺不走我们做梦的自由

《摩托车日记》 五月天

-+-

decided to go make a new pair of specs today because i couldnt stand my old boring ones which i wore for 4 years already. and it still looks new cept the part at the nose -___-

anyway, went to the shop over at my old house. i realised that i actually forgotten how the void deck looks like despite living there for 6 years. first 6 years of my life that is. i grew up there, cried there, poo-ed there, did many of my "firsts", etc. so after making my specs i decided to pay a visit to my old home.

i took a lift up and walked up the stairs directly. almost forgot the door number so i had a shock when i walked to the place and realise it doesnt exactly seem familiar. then the four numbers hit me and i realised i was at the wrong door -___- thankfully my father uses our old door number as the password for his laptop so i could still remember! haha. so i immediately walked to the other flight of stairs and finally reached my old home :D

anyway, the feeling felt really weird. i remembered how i could look at the grassy area right in front of my house, [and always imagining children playing soccer being struck by lightning], and further down across the road was a forest. but now everything changed. st luke's was built on the grassy area, and the forest was removed to build millenia. wth.

and when i stood near the door it felt really weird. like it seemed so vaguely familiar, the feeling's there, but everything's just different. very awkward, like what used to be home became something so stranger to me. i wanted to peep into the house to see but i know that'll be intruding the not-so-new owner's privacy. oh well. i cant remember where most of the old furniture were placed. and i think this is my first time i stood beside the door and looked down instead of looking up.

sigh, i sorta miss my old home. small but cosy and definitely nice. but now when i look through the door it just feels like another stranger's home.

ahhhhhh.

anyway, made myself a new layout. simple but i took some time handling the html... still not exactly used to such templates actually. anyway, it's largely based on fall out boy's new album, infinity on high, which totally rocked. :D was very tempted to get the disc again after listening to the whole album at gramaphone [my favourite hangout at city hall], but nevermind, i shall not succumb to it. besides the hit "this ain't a scene its an arms race", i think "thriller"'s really nice too! hahah and a few other tracks but i cant remember. sth which goes like "i'm going to crash but i'm not a wave". wacky titles, wacky songs.

oh and i went to gramaphone before meeting chong they all for hiphop :D i like to put on the huge earphones, on the player, and close my eyes and simply listen. in that shop i can barely feel the hustle and bustle of city hall. haha. super nice. indulge.

sunday went to paddle 10km :X result? aching body and many many many times infinity blisters on my hands and feet. needa train harder so sorta pushed myself a bit but i realised i wasnt as tired as i was supposed to be -___- still unable to push myself to my limits unlike last time when i was trg for nationals... a bit saddening, but i really hope my mental strength come back soon. nkwc! rahhhhhh.

juniors did pretty well during their races too although most of them were generally unlucky. but well, it's just the beginning and they have a long way to go (:

good friday's COMING SOON (: lots of activities planned up: canoeing, meeting up with 78 girls, then meeting up with 4g girls! sat and sun will largely consist of trainings, and maybe some band pracs and probably some last minute outings :P haha yay i love long weekends XD

ok i shall go off now! tata~

njcc

it's been a year already.

how fast time flies. last year at this time i was crying my eyes out, frustrated for not being able to race the finals, angry at yl for taking my paddle, irritated with myself for not taking care of my equipment, disappointed that i couldnt get my first medal... all those feelings feel so unreal now, but somehow, those felt like yesterday, felt like it was dream, felt like it didnt happen at all. in fact the whole canoeing saga didnt seem realistic. sometimes i still have to look and my medals and trophy as a confirmation to my past.

seeing my juniors racing it out down the lanes made me feel like doing it all over again. but i'm a freaking lazy pig.

njcc 2006 was one experience deeply etched in my heart and will stay in my memories forever.

[oh yah, i seem to have forgot that i got 4th for k1 500 then too -.-]

oh well, next race's will be nkwc for juniors. most likely for me too :P i might go down to race on a k2 with the grandjuniors/juniors! how exciting :D no more k1 1000m for me too. wonder who will get the k1 1000m gold this year! haha. too bad i cant hold on to my title anymore :P

i'm feeling pretty today (: all the bad things seem to come to an end already. my parents' cold war seems to "warm up" already, with them "seemingly" talking a little [because my bro and i were talking to both of them too]. i've made an appointment with the podiatrist as well, one more month to making my insoles, and another 3 more months for my insoles 0.o friday at office felt much better, and there wasnt anything to piss me off. now, i just need to get myself a new pair of shoes [tiger? i saw one nice velcro one at $159. gahh] and a new pair of specs (:

monday's going to be jap lessons again and tuesday's hiphop! the best two days of the weekdays :P haha. looking forward!

shall go paddle tmr morning. paddled a bit today and i'm already aching :X nkwc! ahha. okok gtg cyahhhh.

Sao Mu :X

Yes that's wad i'm doing now. Pretty sian, was sorta forced to come. Seriously, this doesn't really have some meaning to me since i didn't know anyone me them. Hard to be passionate really. Not that i want cny me my relatives lying down there too.

I was thinking for a moment, where did my relatives end up after they left the world? Christianity wasn't introduced to them at that time then. As for me, i know where i'll go. I guess that's really good cos i'm no longer scared of death. I just wished my mom would convert, but easier said than done. Sigh. Shall just keep praying i guess.

That aside, i think my english's getting worse. Bad influence from mom and colleagues. Still got the english test for uni admission to go, can't afford to let it get worse now. Oh well.

Anyway, it's been an eventful week.

Tuesday went for hiphop lessons with two jiamins, chong and cindy! Uber fun! I really learnt a lot in one lesson (: but i realised i actually learnt something from my previous hiphop class! Haha. Shall keep practising until i look cool next time! Haha. Pam go and join also k! And jiamin and i almost couldn't join cos the class was so packed! Thirty plus people la. The classroom almost no space to dance le. Gah. But still worth it (:

Thursday went for 4g outing! Haha went the central at clarke quay (: nice place actually, loved the river view and the night lights. After looking high and low for the atm machine, [we went to liang court in the end], we went waraku to eat! Good stuff. Nice ambience too, nice jap food (: shared some cream udon and curry chicken! And tofu and sausages too :Pshuang diao. Haha. After that we talked and went home. Oh played the 'i never had' game and once again susan proved that she's really disgusting! Haha.

Friday decided not to play ball with 6a and went to meet jace amy and cindy at vivo. Rina are good friends with them alr la! Haha. They found her in the shop and called me before i reached :P Haha. Then when cindy and i reached we went to find her again. Heh. We are such cam whores! Took so many pics using the mac book in rina's shop :P so next time must wait for rina to transfer it to us :P Haha. After that ate at mussel guys! The jerry-lookalike is super funny! Damn blur la. We saw him giving the wrong stuff to two people, then when we were waiting for our mango pudding, we saw if carrying two so we thought it was ours! But when we walked in all of us immediately shouted to him that we think it's ours! Haha. In the end it wasn't la! So paiseh! Haha. But we called for it like four times and they didn't serve us can. Boo. But the food quite okay la. Heh. After that went to walk a bit then went home cos all the shops close alr :X

Saturday went to sentosa with 78! Played a lot of volleyball then went to play with kim they all near the water! Haha. We were half wet la! Haha. Wanted to push her into the water but she just can't get in! Not fun one. Haha. Then played captain's ball . Half an hour later there was 4 other people who requested to join us. So we played with them for one hour plus. They all were a bit too serious though. Scary stuff. But okay la still quite fun, just that i don't fancy playing with topless guys and a bikini girl :P all the guys don't really dare to go near her la! Super funny :P

Then we went to wash up and find pam at vivo. By the time it was almost 8 alr :X wanted to go eat carl's but it was so packed, but i happened to see the 6a people there again [i saw them at sentosa too], and went to join them for a while! I ended up settling my dinner there without paying a cent lol. Haha but nice crapping with them loh! They are like my half-class! Haha. After a while, they left carl's to shop but felt bad that i left my class so went back to find them and meanwhile pay a visit to rina's over at her shop! But poor her so busy la. Can't talk to her for long :X then went to join my class and ate some siew mai :D

Wanted to watch mr bean at first, but timing's really bad so we couldn't catch it. So went to action city and stayed there for pretty long. Heh. By then pageone closed so couldn't go go also :( oh well. I haven't visited les there yet la! Went home after that loh.

So now i'm over at my grandma's place alr, waiting for lunch, and watching some really old drama with jolin and xiaozhu! And i bet jolin did plastic surgery. She looks really ugly last time. Haha. Xiaozhu's not much better with his long hair! Haha! Oh my, xiaozhu's really cute. I'm so sad people say if's with jolin! Rahhhh. Haha.
Okay this is a really a long entry with my phone. Haha. Shall go now cya! Haha.

XD

RAHHHHH. i'm bored (: waiting for my videos to load! haha :P so shall blog a bit!

ooh anyway, on sunday my hp gave me a big fright. it couldnt save missed calls, dialled calls, all sorts of calls :X i was on the verge of sending it back to sony ericsson already :( sigh. but well, today i exchanged sim cards with my colleague and it went back to normal already! haha, i was damn happy :D i'm very unlucky with phones ya know.

ooh and PAM WELCOME BACK :D i hope you read this! you have been missed muchly XD

and i've just started watching re qing zhong xia :D only has 2 eps now :P but joe cheng is so cute laa. haha! reminds me of the time chieh and i were crazy over him during er zuo ju :P everytime i flip to the page in my notebook i'll laugh haha. stupid chieh draws so cutely ;O haha. i miss school life! JIANG ZHI SHU~

haha. but this morning i couldnt find my neckermanns laa :( i hope it didnt get stolen! my slippers kept getting stolen :( that time yingxia they all bought me a pair of slippers it got stolen like after a week laa! and i made sure it looked dirty enough first then put outside one. zzzz. i wonder who's so desperate to go around stealing slippers :X

rahhhh. haha. okok i think my vids are done already! today hopefully can meet up with chong and cindy and min again! they're going to sign up for hiphop! thinking whether i should go for it again :P different place tho :D haha. and jap yesterday was fun! heh.

kyoo-no tenki-wa desu-ka?
kyoo-no tenki-wa hare-desu.

:DD~ cyahhh.